Brenda Dater, MPH, MSW
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Dear Teacher, I Need Your Help

6/28/2015

6 Comments

 
By Brenda Dater
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Dear Teacher,
Last week when we were chatting after school you said you were concerned about my son's writing. You explained that he's having a hard time getting started and his handwriting isn't legible. However, this morning at his annual meeting, you didn't talk about these challenges or suggest changes to his plan. When I glanced in your direction, you quickly looked away.


You understand my son's strengths and weaknesses. And I know you care and want to help. Nevertheless, you remained silent on the topic of new difficulties and potential supports or services at the IEP meeting. I left the meeting wondering, what kept you from sharing your professional expertise in a public setting?

Silence hurts your students

I appreciate that you are in a tough position. Your administration might have explicitly told you not to recommend any additional supports or services at team meetings. You may have been told that your Principal would not sign any IEP that included a laptop. You may have been intimidated by other team members at the "meeting before the meeting," when you voiced opposing opinions. If you ignored your administrator's directives and recommended expensive services or supports, you may find yourself with a poor performance review or pushed out of your position.

I don't want you to lose your job. I hope you understand that the suggestions you share with me in private would be more effective if they were delivered by you during our meetings. A parent's request, although considered, is not as powerful as a teacher's data driven recommendation. How can you share your knowledge and advocate for your student without putting your job in jeopardy?

Sharing your expertise

  • Collect and share data: : Your observations, work sample portfolios, grades and tracking sheets provide a wealth of information. 
  • Find allies: You are not the only staff member who wants to focus on your students' needs. Discuss how to handle situations where staff expertise is silenced.
  • Educate yourself: If a team member isn't adhering to federal or state special education laws, learn which words or phrases taken directly from the law will help to create an appropriate program.
  • Seek Observations: Have an outside expert observe the student and share their observations with the team. You can verify whether or not the expert witnessed a typical day and provide examples to help illustrate strengths and needs.
  • Go public: Our kids are taught to be "upstanders" instead of "bystanders" when injustice occurs. Nothing gets better if no one speaks out.
  • Address systemic problems: If your administration doesn't allow you to utilize your professional competence in special education program development, remedy should be available without a threat to your position. For some this could mean community organizing, for others, filing a class action complaint might be an option.
  • Find a supportive district: Supportive and effective administrators and school districts exist. Research other schools and towns to determine if you could more easily share your skills and work collaboratively in a new setting. 
We have the same goal--to create an appropriate program for my son, your student. Please don't make me do this on my own. I need your help. 

Thank you,
Your student's mom
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6 Comments
patty mcclish
7/9/2015 04:49:25 pm

Reply
Lynn
7/10/2015 12:54:18 am

yes I'm in need of some information about getting some help with my son Aspergers and other problems that keep him from writing washing himself button thing tying things so please tell me what I need he has Ellers Danlos syndrome

Reply
Annette Lopez
7/10/2015 05:43:24 am

Wow yes I need help for my only child with Asbergers Syndrome and anxiety ,depression bathing brushing hair brushing teeth doing homework writing reading even won't eat only one meal a day she's 14yrs old very skinny very tall 5'10"tall need information on getting the right help for my child was in therapy and got taken out because I tried to apply for her disability benefits which I was denied I need orientation I saw your message on Facebook can you point me in the right direction to get her needs met please thank you kindly

Reply
Caren Stiffel
7/10/2015 07:08:18 am

I never sit silent in IEP's. Your teacher:)

Reply
Brenda Dater
7/10/2015 08:08:05 am

Love this Caren! Yes-so many teachers do speak up and it's lovely. It's a crime that some teachers feel they cannot fully contribute in meetings without worrying about their jobs.

Keep sharing your expertise!

Reply
Kathleen
7/10/2015 07:09:32 pm

Teacher, parent, or students as they are able do not be silent! It is a team effort. Brainstorming ideas is the start not everything we would love to do is possible, but throwing out the ideal can sometimes led to finding a workable solution for everyone. - teacher, mom, and former student.

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    Brenda Dater is the author of Parenting without Panic: A Pocket Support Group for Parents of Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum (Asperger's Syndrome). Brenda is also the Director of Child and Teen Services at AANE.

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