Category: Problem Solving

Therapy 101: Tips for Deciding How to Spend Your Time, Money and Energy

12/6/2014

When my son, Noah, was diagnosed with Asperger's 15 years ago, we were told he needed to have speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, sensory integration therapy and join a social skills group. I felt like I had to do everything the doctor recommended or else I'd be missing an opportunity to help my child. I spent a large proportion of my time driving to appointments and sitting in waiting rooms with lots of other moms. And I wondered, how will I know if this is the right thing to do?

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Tips for Parenting on the Same Page

10/24/2014

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By Brenda Dater

When our kids were young, I wanted my husband to read everything I could find about Asperger's. I often felt compelled to try (almost) every intervention suggested to us, especially when the diagnosis was new. My husband was supportive, but skeptical.

Finding the balance between our approaches wasn't always easy. Sometimes we let being right be more important that finding a solution. Sometimes our conversations were so predictable it was as if we were following a script in a poorly written play. And sometimes we'd have an "aha" moment and be able to solve a tough problem together.

But what do you do when you and your partner disagree on why your child is struggling and what you should do about it?

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Top Tips for Dealing with Parents who Exclude Your Kid

9/29/2014

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By Brenda Dater

Through the years I've had parents actively intervene to keep their kid away from mine. One time a mom told me her family would be in Hawaii during my son's Bar Mitzvah. Then we saw her son walking down our street on the day of the service.

Another time a mom whose child enjoyed being with my son said she didn't want them to play together. She explained that she thought her son was picking up "autistic behaviors" and wanted him with "typical" kids so he'd be "more normal."

I'm not sure which is worse--the parent who clearly states she doesn't want your child anywhere near her own, or the one who lies to get out of potential interactions. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by both of these moms. And I wondered, why do parents exclude our kids and what can we do when this happens?

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Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer: Practical Tips for Parenting without Panic

9/22/2014

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By Brenda Dater

"Parents want to know if their children will be okay. They want to know what the future holds. I am full of hope for my own children and yours too. I hope that we are laying the foundation for them to understand themselves and the world around them. I hope that they believe in themselves and appreciate their abilities. I hope that the challenges and problems they encounter build their sense of resilience and bravery. And I hope they know how glad we are to have them in our lives."

--From "Parenting without Panic: A Pocket Support Group for Parents of Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum (Asperger's Syndrome)"

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5 Tips to Help your Child with Asperger's/Autism Develop Problem Solving Skills

9/6/2014

3 Comments

By Brenda Dater

I woke up this morning to a flurry of text messages sent during the wee hours of the night from my son who just started college this past week. They began with an urgent health question to me because health services was closed.. They ended with this,
"Going to the hospital about this, probably nothing, thought I should let you know."
And this an hour and a half later, "I'm fine, there wasn't anything to worry about. Just letting you know."

3 Comments

Therapy 101: Tips for Deciding How to Spend Your Time, Money and Energy

Tips for Parenting on the Same Page

Top Tips for Dealing with Parents who Exclude Your Kid

Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer: Practical Tips for Parenting without Panic

5 Tips to Help your Child with Asperger's/Autism Develop Problem Solving Skills

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