Brenda Dater, MPH, MSW
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Dear Teacher, I Need Your Help

6/28/2015

6 Comments

 
By Brenda Dater
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Dear Teacher,
Last week when we were chatting after school you said you were concerned about my son's writing. You explained that he's having a hard time getting started and his handwriting isn't legible. However, this morning at his annual meeting, you didn't talk about these challenges or suggest changes to his plan. When I glanced in your direction, you quickly looked away.


You understand my son's strengths and weaknesses. And I know you care and want to help. Nevertheless, you remained silent on the topic of new difficulties and potential supports or services at the IEP meeting. I left the meeting wondering, what kept you from sharing your professional expertise in a public setting?

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Top Tips for Dealing with Parents who Exclude Your Kid

9/29/2014

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By Brenda Dater
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Through the years I've had parents actively intervene to keep their kid away from mine. One time a mom told me her family would be in Hawaii during my son's Bar Mitzvah. Then we saw her son walking down our street on the day of the service.

Another time a mom whose child enjoyed being with my son said she didn't want them to play together. She explained that she thought her son was picking up "autistic behaviors" and wanted him with "typical" kids so he'd be "more normal."  

I'm not sure which is worse--the parent who clearly states she doesn't want your child anywhere near her own, or the one who lies to get out of potential interactions. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by both of these moms. And I wondered, why do parents exclude our kids and what can we do when this happens?




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    Brenda Dater is the author of Parenting without Panic: A Pocket Support Group for Parents of Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum (Asperger's Syndrome). Brenda is also the Director of Child and Teen Services at AANE.

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